Dear Diary fear is the thief of joy

 Yesterday I traveled the narrow path less taken

Yesterday I traveled the narrow path less taken. I went out to explore, and I went to places that I don’t usually go to, and I stayed out longer than I usually do, and I found that after this time, I was well exhausted out of my energy. Let me explain.

I went on a fishing trip, and it was different, and it was so big in a situation in my life that needed to be explored. The situation was uncomfortable.

I went through many different scenarios that made me have to go out of my comfort zone and I feel like it was because God was trying to put me in a situation where I could physically see I needed to get out of my comfort zone

I went to many different fields. It was hot outside. There were bugs. Different birds and animals are predatory that I was kind of looking at like they’re beautiful, and I love them, but they’re also kind of scary because I don’t usually deal with all the hearts and everything, but I realize it’s important to my story. It was important to see who I am and what I’m creating to see this.

To see the guidance and the beauty of these birds

I also saw that I had to try something different, so I go fishing all the time with my family, but I mostly watched take pictures, and never really fully partake in fishing for more than one or two minutes.

This is the first time I decided to try and baby, I went out of my way. I listened to the advice, and I tried it, and I kept trying even when I was scared or embarrassed that I wasn’t able to fish as well. I sat in the car for a little bit and then I realized I came here to really experience this so I need to experience it. I really need to enjoy my company because they brought me out here and I need to enjoy this experience. I need to carpe diem and see today.

So I try it again I adjust myself all like Aaliyah says and try it again. I went into this little pond and I felt it. I felt the wind I felt the sun. I felt it in my spirit. I was about to catch a fish. I wasn’t sure how it was gonna happen, but I felt it. I felt it when I was going there the first time, but then I walked away went back to the other side, but then I came back again. I felt the feeling, and I felt a tug. I felt the wind I felt the sun. I felt the spirit talking to me and behold I caught my first fish. I think this is the first fish I’ve ever caught in my life at least that I can remember. It was a big deal a huge deal.

But it reminded me as I was fishing I kept thinking about the Bible teach a man fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. You can give a man fish give them the way give them the path, but they’ll never really learn but when you teach a manifest they will learn how to fish. They will learn the tools to go where they need to go with the right equipment they will learn where to fish what to look for and how to grill it in and eat off of what Work they did. They will learn not to be a gatherer, but a hunter they will learn the divine feminine and masculine energy, and I realize how important that was to my story.

But the crazy thing was I screamed. I was excited I was happy because of that moment so I felt this masculine energy of catching and capturing what I wanted, but then I felt this divine feminine joy, happiness elated once I captured the fish so I screamed over and over again. I was like I have caught a fish. I caught a fish and all of a sudden a sneaky little hound a little dog well actually a huge dog came out of nowhere. It was about to attack, but I was in a divine presence at company that protected me and I felt safe. They shoot a dog away with confidence and it made me realize how important it is to have faith in yourself and have faith in who you’re around and that you’re protected and you’re here for a purpose.

Then we went to another place and this place was way on a farm outback bunch of dirt roads bunch of different valleys and there was this big paths around my bushes and trees, and it was very very narrow very very, very narrow

It really was a path less taken because you could tell like nobody was going down this path like you could see what it was debris on certain parts where people would go fish but then in this path, you didn’t see any debris because nobody wanted to go down this path

There was no remnants of a human really going down this path so I knew that this was the path less taken. It was too narrow for people to really walk in pairs. It was more so a path you had to walk by yourself. There was bits and pieces where you could walk with two, but it reminded me of life where when you want something you’re gonna have to take the path less taking if it’s meant for you to do something bigger with this and how I knew this is what God was trying to force upon me and teach me was because it was a point where I had walked so far into this path with fear afraid to fall in the water is below because the path was so narrow. It was on the cusp of me falling in the water.

And then there was a point where I freaked out and I was afraid because I got so far away from the car, but it path was merging over to areas where I could fall over. There were thorns and things capturing my feet and I was trembling and stumbling if you know me, you know I am clumsy and it just takes one little bit of a thorn or something grabbing my feet and I’m falling for God protect me. God told me happy babe. You got this.

When I looked back, I thought I could just turn back around, but I was like I’m too afraid to turn around cause what if I fall but God was like that’s not the lesson here. You just cannot give up now you got a dis yourself. I’ll try again take slow steps. Go forward. You did not travel all this way not to get to the vision so I looked at where my partner was and they were far ahead and then I looked back to where the car was and it was way back, and I realized God was trying to tell me to keep going.

So I kept going I kept going because that fork in the road was the decision of being comfortable but being in fear or being uncomfortable and walking to the unknown and being held in a place of accountability to be a true leader of yourself and what you’re doing

I kept walking. I stumbled a little bit, but I was safe. I was protected. I got caught up in twigs. I got scratched up a little bite here a little bite there, but I was safe and when I finally got to the destination, it was clear there was this beautiful site of tall trees and this beautiful watery area, this area reminded me of a mirror, reminding me of the reflection that Simma God in lion King, and how this whole time I’ve been trying to figure out about who I really am who my birth mother was my birth father was, and when I looked at this clearing, it was the Earth. It was the 5EARTH the thing that created the piece that created a home I was searching for what I am, and I was afraid of who I was. I was afraid to travel the path of really being who I am, and seeing myself clearly in the waters that mirror back to me, but this time I walked forward and though I had to walk most of the path alone, it was worth it. the reward was worth it. I saw the bounty the beautiful list of unlimited possibilities. Things happens and I changed and when I walked back, I was less afraid. I was more confident in myself. There were still times I was fearful, but I knew I could do it and that was a lesson thank you God for that blessing.