The Chop for the Garden to grow

 Real love is unconditional people go through ups and downs in relationships

Sometimes you break up when you get back together sometimes you break up and you just form a friendship where you coparent

Sometimes you don’t have kids and you are able to just coparent your wounds and your traumas as your kids and become good friends

Love is meant to be able to grow through throughout the different phases and stages. It’s not something that is based on looks or possibilities but it grows effortlessly day and day out.

There will be trials and tribulations, traumas wins victories, small wins, small victories, and small blessings that turn into big triumph and big blessings

But if you keep going, you allow yourself to see that you are being held, held and supported by the right people when it’s real life

It’s not based on jealousy or what you can see or what you can gain but honesty, loyalty, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, gross times where you have to be humbled times where you have to grow sometimes sometimes you may even have to take time for yourself to Change to evolve to reclaim yourself in self-worth and then make amends

But by any means love is necessary

I remember a time in my life where I was going through a lot because of my mental health and my relationships and during this time I didn’t have podcasting I didn’t have my art I didn’t have my child like wonder fully intact

Don’t get me wrong it was there and it was doormat, but I had a moment where I peaked in the door and just played a little bit. Tried a little bit did a little dip and dab, but it wasn’t fully intact.

Then I went through it crazy break up one that I did not foresee coming this break up wasn’t just with a person. It was a break up with myself. It was a break up with a person that I thought that I was it was a break up with the idea of what I thought would make me hold and so I decided to cut my hair and I’ve done it plenty of times but this time when I cut my hair, I cut it so much to the point where I was basically having a low cut. 

I almost had a military cut. Honestly it wasn’t ball nor was it a Caesar or Jay-Z but it definitely was maybe only 1 inch on my head. It was the shortest. My hair has ever been and on my sides maybe half an inch I have a picture and I definitely am going to show it and link it back to this blog entry, but I want to tell you the truth diary. This was one of the hardest moments that I’ve ever had in my life fam when I tell you that I cried, and I really wanted to go on dating sites, but I didn’t have any recent pictures and I refuse to take another recent picture. I remember posting some of my older pictures and this was when I was in the beginning stages of this particular weight loss journey and I have lost some weight But the fact that my hair wasn’t there, it made me feel like I was naked 

I felt like I couldn’t understand who I was fast forward about 5 to 6 years later and I’ve grown my hair almost all the way back to where it was when I was pregnant with my daughter

I believe that through this process, my daughter is 14 and I’ve cut my hair about five times maybe but this was the one that’s stuck with me the most because so many changes have happened since then literally my hair grew but my mentality grew my heart grew. I cut off people just like I cut off my hair. I cut off old habits and old things that didn’t suit me because I knew that this was what I needed to do. I remember venturing out and stringing from who I was this all goes to show that trying something new can be trying and daunting for the heart and soul, but it’s good for you because even though it may be traumatizing sometimes in life, you have to go out with the old and end with the new and realize that no matter how you do it it’s beautiful. 

I remember going through this break up and going through the haircut and thinking I was the most hideous person and my daughter and my son and my spouse embracing me and telling me that they love me and telling me that I still have a cute face and telling me that I look good with the hair even though the haircut look crazy. I looked ridiculous in my mindset, but they remembered to tell me that you’re still beautiful inside and outside that I still love you, and I remember as my hair was growing, and I still felt awkward in my hair I remember my daughter wanting to cut off her locks and get her hair in an Afro like mine and I just felt so insecure I was going through so many different things at the moment I didn’t even want my daughter to have locks, but I remember how much my family supported me through all of the things that I went through 

And I’m thankful I’m thankful for all the traumas we went through together. I’m thankful for all the downs we went through together. I’m thankful for all the ups that we went through together. I’m thankful for the moment where we were able to have abundance and I see God blessing us in abundance towards it longevity or it’s going to be so abundant that we cannot only help ourselves and our family grow and build a brand in generational wealth. I see us having abundance so big to the point where we will be able to help others and travel and stay healthy mentally physically emotionally and not have to stress and I’m thankful and I’m thinking God in advance for all these things because I do see where all these issues all these things that I had to cut off all these people that I had to cut off are part of the process and I’m reminded of this video that I just linked on my Facebook that said trust the process I’m reminded of my Podcast ‼️🥰🥳🍀🔐😇😇😇🤣🤣 episode with Jerek Thomas where everything had To come around full circle like his book and his series and I realized God kept showing me moments that had to come around full circle. Let it grow back by plant the seeds cut off the dead weeds and cut out all the things that need to be cut so you can grow a garden of abundance and that’s what that representation of my hair was taking out all the dead weeds all the dead plants and letting abundance grow I challenge you fam to do this for yourself much love, peace and blessings